Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Ok so today he was here 2.5 hours- said he would be here between 12-1 and ended up getting here before 12! Secretly I have been thinking that if he gets here earlier on a regular basis then that is good! (just being honest about my thoughts!)

So I couldn't exactly avoid him today because he couldn't lift S. I felt sooo stupid because I accidentally said
"I am asking your sister if she can babysit S so I can get my hair done. I was sure to butter her up with starting the text with "MY favorite Sister in law!" Uhh...don't know what to call her right now! BUt I pretended I didn't realize what I said!

And he showed me his scar...(TMI but it is not graphic)he came out of the bathroom with his pants unzipped but his underwear was on. I jokingly said "XYZ! You forgot to button your pants!" with a smile (couldn't help it, ok?) well he smiled back and said "I'm going to show you my scar" And it is on the side--very long incision!

He was hurting like crazy and was worn out. I told him that I know he wants to see S but he really should relax tomorrow so he can recover sooner than later!

So he will play it by ear.

He sure got choked up a lot while talking about S!
I am feeling confident with more weight loss so I was strutting a bit, I think!
He made other small talk about other stuff. I really was busy doing some chores around the house but I couldn't stay away too long because S needed to be picked up. He said he won't be able to pick him up until Thursday but wants to be here as much as he was before! But hopefully tomorrow he won't come. I seriously don't feel like seeing him too much because this C scare really made me realize how much I love him and how much he is hurting me!!!!