My advice is to try to get him to come back up here with your promise to consider moving down south later on once you two are better setup for that sort of thing.
Re him not loving you.
I suspect he was already in an EA before he left. People get CONFUSED when they are having affairs.
You need to understnad the difference between
romantic love and the infatuations from infidelity
These are ENTIRELY different animals
Comparing romantic love to infidelity is like comparing dating to stalking... its really a very different sort of thing
He very lilkey DOES love you, but he's confused these two experiences and he thinks because he's infatuated with some woman who has no inhibitions about violating a marriage that he doens't have any romantic love for his wife and family...
This is NOT the case, or he woudl NOT be contacting you.
The problem is humans can feel romantic love AND feel infatuated with an affair at the same time... and often the infatuation is more INTENSE and people allow their temporary intense feelings to cloud their judgement for what's best long term.
Do NOT allow this to confuse YOU like it has him... YOU need to set an example of long term commitment for him to follow
If this is an affair and BENEATH you, then react that way... do NOT elevate this to something beautiful, its not... its sleazy and hurtful and it WILL END.. they always end ... and usually badly...
The GOOD thing is that his affair is FAR AWAY and you are free to enjoy your life without a lot of interference from him. Enjoy that... many people have it happening in there very own home and they feel MUCH more VIOLATED and HURt as a result... you are NOT exposedo to that.. this is a good thing.
I would be very cautious about you moving down there to compete, its not the best idea... what IS important is that you make him aware you are willing...
Do NOT let him discourage you with his BS and moodiness and his distance... women try these games too... they tell men they are "fine" and they "don't want to talk about it" when they VERY MUCH do want to talk and they are anything BUT fine
You need to learn to read his feelings more carefully and NOT take him literally right now...
I think setting some boundaries may be in order soon... But if his business is failing I suspect he may come crawling back on his own...
His affair may end with this business venture of his.. those two may end up taking this failure out on each other and this may cause them to split... that may happen on its own witout you having to do much at all...
