Anger got the best of me and I let it fly. His neglect of DS woke up mama bear. I know better. I advise better. Can't take my own advice. Bang bang-- shootin myself in the foot!
After the above post, I stewed and got really PO'd. Then, chatting with a pal on fb, she mentioned her H saw my H and that he had said how nice it was living in 350 sq ft and his biggest problem was what was for dinner. On the heels of his neglect of DS, it sent me over the edge!
Here's the damage:
Subject: I''m fed up w/ your behavior! You are not good for the kids in your current state. They desperately need their father, but this new you ain't it. This new you that brags to his friends about how "nice it is not to have responsibilities". You have responsibilities...you are just ignoring them. Stop talking...you are convincing everyone you are an idiot with the character of a snake. Your son has appt with with neurologist for foot paralysis and you don't go? Or even check to see what he said for a whole day?? And you blow off his Opening Day Game???? That he played with one foot, gimping around the bases? Or even call him to see how it went???? I have told the kids that I said you have to stay away from them. You are hurting them too much and I can't stand to watch it anymore. They can hate me, thinking I'm the one keeping you away, but it is better than them thinking that you are ignoring them, too busy with your ho to give them a thought, let alone a call. Kids words, not mine. Does she know what these kids are going thru? Does she wonder why you have ended your relationship with them? What kind of person thinks that is a good thing?? Me is one thing, I'm sure you have painted me in a great light, but children??? Are you trying to destroy everyone and everything before you are done with her? Haven't we paid enough? This would be a good topic of convo for your counselor. Take her this email. OMG, this is getting ridiculous!!! Maybe you need hospitalization.
I am running for cover!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Well, I believe he is reading here or has a logger on me b/c he responded accusing me of accusing him of not caring, and going on about how he cares. This is the only place I said anything suggesting he didn't care. hmmm...
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
To be honest, the email was based on truth- and when it comes to your kids, I don't blame you for lashing out. I would say it was just too long. But yes, it will probably set you back. On the other hand, it was true, he knows it deep down and HE NEEDED TO HEAR IT! WOnder what others think...
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I'm liking the "truth dart" take on it. Your H is falling down as a parent and I don't blame you for taking off the DB robot mask and letting him have it. It also reminds him that you have feelings too, and worries about your children. H hasn't seen my feelings for over 2 months so I don't know if he even remembers that I have any.
There was a WAH/MLC who posted here a few years ago (happy_again) who reconciled and talked about how great his W did with DBing, but she definitely set boundaries and sometimes openly expressed her feelings.
You are not on a straight path that you move forward or back on, so I don't think that this can be viewed as a setback.
If he responds to your email, if there's any content regarding parenting, I would try to respond to that part in a calm, constructive way and ignore the rest.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
