As you focus on backing off and giving your W space, also focus on GAL (getting a life). Addressing the depression, finding something you truly love to do (whether or not you are paid for it), picking up some new activities and hobbies and perhaps even taking another look at your grief for your lost child - these are just some suggestions (I am confident you can come up with more) to focus on becoming a better you.
Good advice! I really have started to change my entire way of looking at life and love and relationships. I have already read 3 new books and two were quite helpful. One was DR and the other was called "It's not all about you!" (Not positive on the title I will look later if it is important to anybody) My whole outlook is happier and more positive. When I finished the second book, I was in tears of happiness, becasue I finally "Got It!!!" I signed myself up to play soccer in the spring and started to do a lot of the things I stopped doing while trying to work on our relationship about a year ago.
Originally Posted By: erynfaye
In life, the crappy times are often the ones which wake us up to areas in our lives that we have long neglected. In a strange sort of way, they offer us opportunity to grow and become better and stronger in ways that a serene life cannot do.
I totally agree with this as well. Without the difficulty, the good part is never really relished!!!! Before I thought the world was just falling in on me, now I feel as if the world has given me a gift, a second chance to accept the problems and issues as a challenge to get better and enjoy the good that comes from it.
Originally Posted By: erynfaye
Is there hope for your relationship? Absolutely. But most importantly, there is hope for you. Hope that you can become the man you want to be - the man you lost so long ago. All of us here cheer you on and look forward to hearing more from you.
Thank you and Sandi2 and maynard2121 for you help and kind words. I feel like a new man now. Everyday I see more and more signs of life from the way I used to be. My family and friends and my W have all made positive comments on the changes I have made in my life. I feel like a new person and right now that is all that matters to me. For the first time, maybe forever, I have focus on what I want to do and the drive to get there. I am happy every day and even the problems seem easier to solve because I go at them with a differnt attitude. I feel better today than I did yesterday. I just keep working on me like you guys said and pray for the chance for my W and I to share this gift I have been given together. I feel better, and I want to be able to share this with her because in horrbile times she held our relationship together and me together. So it is only fair that she now share in the good times!!!! I hope she sees that and can come back to me completely so that she can enjoy the fruits of her labor and see how one person can really change someones life!!!!!
