Together but still apart!!!!

[SMM23]

What are you doing about the depression now?

I have been in IC for about a year now. Before she left it was only marginaly helping. But since that day I have done a complete 180 on everything wrong with my life. She has even said so, unprovoked.

If you realize it pushes her away,why do you pursue?

Why if I loved my relationship before, did I do so much unintentionally to sabotage it with harmful actions? I did not mean to do it, but in my heart I knew it was wrong. So why did I let it get this far to begin with. Why did I not make these changes before and things would have been better years ago? I remember what it was like and at least our communication is there now and the tension is gone. So I get excited and forget that it has to be slow or I think I just lose my patience. SO counterproductive I know. I just want her back so badly and I want our relationship to be what it was.

35.Do not send several TM's or emails throughout the day unless absolutely necessary.

I am on IM at work all day, I need to be for communication with coworkers. So she gets on there everyday and we end up talking. So I should NOT send her things first? Won't that make her feel like I am ignoring her? We ususally are just talking about what happened today or with our son or whatever, not relationship things.