1. Your wife has an attachment to this guy 2. He tells her GO back to your HUSBAND, work on your marriage
Result
a. HE looks like a HERO b. YOU look like a SHMUCK
Do NOT let this guy talk to your wife at ALL.. tell him AGAIN with your buddies present as influence to KNOCK off the phone calls to your wife.
Tell him you don't CARE what he was calling for or what he told her, you want NO CONTACT to be made to your wife...
VERY SIMPLE... ZERO contact... He is disrespecting you and insulting you.. you need to hammer down on him and get some of your buddies to go with you... a guy with two or three OTHER guys with him looks a LOT mroe intimidating. Got it?
Your wife is giong to want you LESS and LESS with this creep calling her... wahtever he says, its going to do DAMAGE... he can't help your situation, he's compromised himself now...
IGNORE your wife's claims to having a bond with him, its called infatuation and it DOES fade away... you just need to get her OFF the drug of this affair and walking the straght and narrow again.
OK, if your FIL will not work with you, that's fine. Find someone who CAN influence her that WILL work with you, tha'ts your homework for the week.
When your wife asks you if OMW called you, the answer is not "no"... Tell her outright
"I am going to keep in contact with her until I know thier marriage is on safer ground.. OM has no business getting involved with you in secret and hurting his wife like that... I am NOT disclosing any private business about US, I am just doing what I can to help repair any damage we may have caused over there by checking in on her... you are more than welcome to sit in on any calls I make... "
Do NOT let your wife police YOU from taling to OMW, she WILL TRY to get you to back off... do NOT back off...
Be OPEN about what you are doing to set an example to her... do a phone call to OMW every three days, even do a speakerphone if you want, so your wife can hear...
Just check in with her, ask her if OM is doing better, etc... The MORE you get INVOLVED in helping her marriage, the more HE looks like an ASS and YOU look like a HERO...
Don't violate OM and OMW's privacy by getting too specific, but check to make sure everything is on the straight and narrow... do NOT do this in secret from your wife... she knows you are talking to her, so don't HIDE it, when YOU hide stuff, your WIFE will follow suit.. NO HIDING anything... got it?
do NOT let OM talk to your wife.. EVER
If your wife makes an issue of you talking to OMW tell him you have NO ROMANTIC interst in her and you are NOT sharing any private information and tell your wife she is welcome to sit in on the calls at any time.
