How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

Thank you allen for the questions to ask the therapists. I agree with how some of these therapists get away with murder. I too am like your wife with my car. I ONLY go to one dealership to have my car worked on so I need and will take the same care with my marriage.

I am not sure how I am doing in regards to DBing my husband. Of course I can't tell if affair with him and OW have slowed down. Last weekend when husband was here I saw his phone and OW had called three times. Two times he didn't answer but he answered the third call. She also sent him a text which said "You are REAL SLICK!!" I don't want to read into it but husband told me that he hadn't talked to her in a while. He said that he just cut everything off with her and any body else.

I spent a few hours yesterday on the phone with husband helping him with a job application. When I realized how long we were on the phone I said "wow, how long have we been on the phone? I have to go soon." Husband replied, "we haven't been on the phone this long in a LONG time! guess you figure if I didn't need help with this application I wouldn't be on the phone with you this long, huh?" I told him, I wasn't saying it like that just realized that time was flying by and I had some things to do.

Then husband went on to tell me that he was looking forward to moving into his apartment because it is a place that is finally HIS! He said that I probably won't understand but what he was missing was that chance to have his own place, nice and clean and to have people over to admire and see how he lives. He doesn't have to share his place and can put his things where he wants to put them. He then said that "maybe it won't be all that I think it will be and maybe I do need to grow up, but this is what I feel that I want."

So after husband says all this I just said that I can see why he feels that way even if I don't completely understand.

However, what I really do not get is how at one moment husband is "sad" that his actions drove his family away but then he is looking to the future with himself living in his own apartment as the best thing since slice bread. Like he is looking forward to his new independence! Its like he said, sometimes he wants to be married and sometimes he doesnt. He also said yesterday that the one thing that makes him think that living on his own won't be that great is that he won't get to see our son everyday and that isn't the type of father he wanted to be but oh well what can I do...life goes on :-( (yes, he said oh well to not seeing son everyday).