You started out really good. Did a bit too much talking toward the end. But you handled the hug very well. When she TM's you, just answer with one or two words, from now on, and don't get do like you did with apologizing for the D hurting her, etc. It isn't something to do by TM and it sounds a bit "kissing up" or like you're just trying to find something to continue to talk. Remember, you are suppose to be dark.
Stay away from subjects that will cause you to break down in front of her. She doesn't need to see that (even if she gave you a hug....it was a pity hug and you don't want that kind). She needs to see a man who is strong and a good leader over his family. You will do better each time, so I'm not beating you up over it.
The deal with her dad and his GF staying with you must make you uncomfortable. I bet your W will worry about what is being said.
If your FIL asks you what is going on, then I think you should tell him that she is addicted to EA with other men. She is in & out of one after the other.....or else looking to have one. Tell him that you've tried to encourage her to see an IC. If FIL doesn't ask any questions, then it's probably b/c he doesn't want to be caught in the middle. His GF.....well, don't know how long she's been around, and since she isn't family....I'd be very careful telling her anything. If FIL asks any questions, it will probably be when it's just the two of you men alone......but IDK.
Your W does not understand unconditional love according to what was said about your D or her dad. We will always love our children, but that is not to say we will support anything they do......at least we shouldn't. I believe we should have boundaries with our kids, and there should be boundaries with our S, as well. If there are no boundaries....that is when they lose respect and mistreat you! Kids or adults will do that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
