Hope is the thing with feathers....

[antlers]

Hello Bridge.

Why does he call so early?

Was it his pain that he dumped on you?

Kids are the innocent victims in this crap. Does he love the kids?

Whose FaceBook update are you talking about?

I don't know about him, but I do understand how unhealthy our own relationship was for years. Our kids would have been better off had they not been exposed to the unhealthiness of the relationship they witnessed as their main role model for a marriage...the unhealthy ways we communicated, the unhealthy ways we 'loved' each other, argued, walked on eggshells, unresolved conflict, co-parented, divided household chores, etc.. I do know that. However, given the fact that I never denied the role that I played or the mistakes that I made, I shouldered them, all of them, I owned them and took responsibility...and I changed for the better...much better...I do believe the kids would have been better off, much better off, had I been given a chance by their mother, instead of the way their lives are now because of the decisions that their mother has made.

If kids are resilient regarding their parents separation and divorce, then they can certainly be resilient regarding the changes that a parent makes that will make the marriage and all lives involved better! They can overcome, through their resiliency, the unhealthy ways they were shown as 'normal' and their interaction with others as they move into adulthood because of their learned behavior...if their parent makes the necessary changes, via compassion, and is given a chance by the other spouse. Divorcing, I believe, is a greater disservice to the kids under these circumstances, than showing them that good change is possible.

I know where you're at Bridge, and I understand, but these paragraphs of yours resonated with me in particular, so I commented on them pertaining to myself and my situation.

I wish your StbXH had made different decisions and stuck to them. Sounds like he's hurting too.

Indulge yourself. You certainly deserve it.


ps - I'm sorry you're here...but I'm glad you're here...know what I mean?