Better Days

[ClingingToHope]

It's all still new. Eventually you figure out that this is your life now. For better or worse. The longer it goes the more the old life fades away -- even if you don't want it to.

The post is very coherent. It's what I still feel all the time. Thursday night me, W and D7 sat together at D11's opening night of her youth play.

It went well. After all of the kids were in the lobby. D7 was getting autographs and then -- I went home to my apartment.

That is still really strange. Even more so for the kids.

I still have huge stabs of pain and loneliness.

One thing I try to remember is that in terms of marital loneliness, W changed towards me in January 2007.

We'd had a great Christmas in 2006, the best in years. Things seemed to be great between us. Then in January 2007 our physical relationship just stopped for the most part.

A lot of stresses hit W all at once and I kept trying different things to rekindle stuff that in the end just pushed her farther away.

So in terms of loneliness, 99.9 percent of the time since the beginning of 2007 I felt lonely sleeping right next to W.

Now at least I can imagine finding someone who will love me.

Your boys are 9. I haven't reread your sitch. Hopefully you'll get at leat 50/50 with them. A nice thing is you are never truly alone when you have kids. There's always time coming up with them to look forward to.