Good morning folks (or afternoon or evening depending on where you are).
Busy day at work yesterday. Finally had a run in with one of my female co-workers. Unfortuantely, this female co-worker has had similar arguments with numerous other people in our office. Honestly, this person has some serious insecurities and issues, and she often brings them to work and takes them out on many of us. Surprisingly, I am officially higher up on the org chart so to speak than she, but this doesn't seem to concern her since I am not the first person higher in rank than she with whom she has picked an argument. Nothing I can't handle. Just added some "spice" to the day.
Got home last night and had fun snuggling up with D6 and hanging out with S10. I virtually ignore W, so she has now taken to "talking" to me through the kids. For example, I sneezed last night - W, who used to tell me "bless you," asked S10 what we did when someone sneezed. S10 replied we say bless you.
If you want to D me, why must you continue to try to "talk" to me? This is something you will lose as a result of the D. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. "Friends" do not do what you are doing to me and our family, W. I will never understand how the WAS believes we will all remain best friends after what they put their LBS's and families through. I understand WHY they do it. I just don't understand how they can cling to such an unreasonable belief.
As I sat in the den with the kids - W was making cookies to sell to one of her clients (basically in the same room - kitchen is part of the den/great room), I found myself growing angrier with her. It's the way she can act no differently than before the bomb - as if we are one big, happy family unit that will not be affected by her decision to rip that apart. And that makes me very, very angry. Rather than say anything, I hit the bed early.
So, this morning, I am a bit numb, indifferent and dismissive of W. All I see at this point is a completely selfish, irrational, arrogant person who is utterly unattractive to me on so many levels. But, strangely, I still hold open the possibility of working on the M if she were willing to "do the work." Maybe that's my irrationality coming out. Or hope. Or dream. I don't know.
If she...Screw it. She hasn't and apparently will not. And only SHE can make that decision. If she only knew how much we could do for each other in a new, healthy M and how much we could help the kids by doing that. As much as I want to SHOW her that, I can't. She has to do that. But she won't.
