Even so, my admitting the party thing was a bad decision and it made me feel bad may make her think some about why she feels so crummy lately (her bad decision).
Not sure I really follow this, but anyway the way you base decisions is whether or not it is the "right" thing to do and then she has to deal with any fall-out of emotions. You can't opperate out of emotions b/c you'll sure get messed up during the state you are in now. I have learned that anytime I make a decision when I am emotionally high or low.....it stands a risk of being one I would have done differently if it had been based on logic instead of feelings. Another thing, if you tend to have a "motive" behind everything you do......like.....hoping she will see this or that; hoping she will miss certain things, etc.,...that is too draining on you. We point things out about those things trying to demonstrate the principles behind the DB technique, but then you just need to live everyday as richly as you can and to the best of your ability......do what is right.
Do the best you can with the BD thing and don't make yourself sick over it. I would like to point to something that kind of jumped out at me. You were making the BD #2 party suggestion and what they could do. Now, if your W was suppose to be in charge of party #2......you needed to keep your mouth closed b/c that is seen as controlling. If your W is in charge of doing things from her side of the fence.....that should not include you or your opinions. (Should not include your finances toward the party, either.) See what I mean? I'm sure you never thought of that and was trying to be helpful, but in the future you need to be careful about doing it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
