Im not going to say you may be wrong- but like you said, you may have taken actions or discoveries and made them fit into a more elaborate plan...we will need to know more.
My initial advice is that if you are SSM, I would definatly schedule you and W for some MC- your description of LD, quiet, non-communicative,etc- very much sounds like my W.
Then 6 months ago I get the bomb.
Weeks before the bomb, she explained I need to be more romantic- being a guy I didn't know what that meant I thought of nice dinners, etc.
Turns out she wanted more intimacy (not necessarily sex), etc, etc.
It seems your sitch may be one of the better ones, again, assuming there is no A.
Do not accuse w/o evidence. Will need to learn more though to give more input
