I love my ex's family, and it was hard to let them go. I had hoped we could stay close even after the divorce. Ultimately, I ended up drifting away from all of them but one of his sisters. She and I had a great friendship outside of the family relationship, so our friendship has survived. Unfortunately, she lives so far away I rarely see her.
At my daugther's wedding last summer, I saw them all again (and my ex of course) for the first time in probably 6 years. They were all very kind to me (and my new husband) and made me feel like I am still part of the family. I appreciated that a lot.
But at the same time...I was reminded why my ex-husband is who he is, how they do share many of the same traits that I did not admire in him, and how I am now a much happier person without them in my life. I felt bad about this for a long time, about not really missing them in my life even though I loved them so much at one time, and we all went through many life events together. But now I feel about them sort of like I feel about my high school graduating class. We knew each other and were very close and had comraderie for a certain number of years, and we were naive enough to believe our time together would forge ahead into the future (cue the "Grease" song, "We'll Always Be Together"). But in time, of course, you lose touch and don't even know these people anymore. Maybe you are lucky and keep one or two friends for life from that time, but mostly, they are now just people in your past. It hurts for awhile, that you feel you have lost a big family. But then you grow up, and you realize, hey, I probably wouldn't have chosen most of these people as friends as an adult.
It is/was kinda like that with my ex's family. I felt I had lost them, but then realized, I just outgrew them, and its ok...I don't have to feel a loss. I can just remember and cherish the good times we had and the love we all shared, and not feel the loss of them. I still have them, always will. Can't take away my memories or my experiences.
