My thoughts. Even a blind man can tell when he is walking in the sun. I find it interesting that your H deploys some very passive aggressive controlling techniques on you and you may not realize it. An example would be contacting you around when you were moving. All his actions to open up with you always happen when you are doing something for yourself. Just enough to keep you in the place where he wants you to be. Same now with your trip... He builds up the contact. Just enough. You have mentioned that you deploy control with anger. A very wise good friend described anger to me like it was holding a ball underwater. It eventually must surface.......
I am going to offer the advice that you do not see him before you leave. Nor contact him. Just leave. And do not contact him at all while your away. Throw yourself into your life. And when your away take some time to think about LRT. Think about how you are always reacting. You may think you are controlling but I think you are wrong here. I think it is the other way around.
Wise Wise words my friend!! P.S..... This is the largest post I've seen you pen... Thank you for your insight here...
TTA - I think CB is making VERY valid points here. He's articulated what I've meant when I keep telling you that H is looking to have is EN's met by you. This is a perfect example of that. I'm glad you are leaving early in the morning and I'm glad you didn't re-arrange your schedule to see H. While you are gone It will be good to take a break from this... but also to muse a little on the idea of being less reactionary - how can you take control of your situation when it comes to H? I'm not sure what the right answer to that is - I think its something you need to feel out for yourself.
Listen to CB, He knows his stuff!!
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
