My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[nicole8]

It has been a couple of days and things seem to have gone down hill more quickly. My husband is regretting having sex the other day(Wed). I know this was a mistake, really I do. I did ask him to come by after work yesterday(Thur) so we could talk (which he complained was the reason he left again, because I don't talk about our relationship). Well he said he couldn't come over because he was regretting what happened the other day. This is code word for him going to see the OW. It has happened in the past and I know the pattern of how he acts and what he will say. He blames himself for something or is "having issues" and then he spends time with her. Until she can't have time for him or he feels guilty....I'm not sure what the real reason is everytime. I think he is just such a completely confused guy. I tried to call him after work last night (I know I shouldn't have). He didn't answer.

So today (Fri) he sends me a text that he is still regretting what happened and that he really thinks we need a divorce and he is "sorry". I told him I was going to see a counselor for myself and I would like him to come, but I couldn't make him. He said it was a waste of time and money. I told him that divorce isn't the answer, and that he himself said that his cousin's marriage could have worked and they shouldn't have divorced. He denies ever saying this. So weird how he is in a fog and remembers what he wants.

Long story short, he said he is coming over tomorrow to mow the lawn....I am really thinking of not being here and I am just going to really try again to be "dark". It is so hard. What do I have to lose though really? Will he get mad, will he wonder what I am doing?

I just want my best friend back and to spend time together without him being so moody, distant, frustrated and foggy. I am convinced that he is suffering from depression and has been for some time. It has just now boiled over and the other thing that will make it go away, is to get rid of me. I've done quite a bit of reading on depression and now that I look back, it is really clear now that the way he was acting he has been depressed. I ignored it because I couldn't get him to talk.....and I didn't know what to do.

I am now contemplating talking with his Mother. I know she doesn't want us to be divorced and that she thinks he is depressed. I want him to get couseling/treatment but he is SUPER stubborn about admitting something is wrong. I feel like his roller coaster is coming down to a low soon though and that might be my chance to talk with him and actually possibly get through. I'm not sure though. Just tossing ideas around in my head with all my free time here.