Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[Jstar]

When I first got seperated with h i was 4months pregnant, high risk pregnancy, 3rd repeat c section, ect ect, caring for 2.5 yr old and maintaining my house.

At first i was debating if i would allow h in delievery room, then as time passed and resentment grew for him being a ghost not helping, same question Piano asked, where is he showing me love for this child while in me growing.

yes the pregnancy will get more difficult especially if you have other children and work. it's great you have your mom to help and be there, unfortunately mine passed aweay afew years ago otherwise it would have been there.

stupidly or i don't know, the day before surgery i started having contractions so i had to be admitted earlier to stop them and surgery moved up a day. while i was in pain i wanted h to see how much pain i was in physically, i called him told him to come. it was extremely difficult to remain calm and not be angry but since i was hospitalized for a week he stayed the whole time and glad he was there sort of for the birth.

I say sort of, since the months of our seperation i planned on my niece being there for me and i let them two decide at the last moment who should b ein with me, she however was extremely hurt and has implemented tough love on me for allowing h in delivery.

we came home from hospital he stayed and next day he flaked out leaving me till 8 pm with no help food or anything, i was upset. he took off again, came back took off and in all my anger in hurt stuck some of his crap on the curb, which he is holding a grudge against me about. not that leaving me alone for 10 hrs meant anything to him.

you do not need to decide now if you will allow him in the delievery, i figured i was not going to let him due to my anger and the birth could never be redone.

where are we now? he's so angry at me, claims to hate me, there are decisions that have to be made, me going back to work, if he's going to monetarily support me kids to be at home or put kids in daycare, etc. also he hasn't been to visit with kids since sunday. saturday he's going to watch son 12 days old while i do soccer with d2.5.

our interactions are not frequent and i can not even speak to him on the phone.

i also felt ambilivalent about a shower, and i let my work have a very small celebration which did mean a tremendous amount to me, so good to hear you will have one.

i know how you feel being in classes with your mom and rest are like happy little families with this glorious birth going to take place and makes you feel crappy and then angry.

i get that all the time where ever i am, when i was pregnant doing family things with just d2.5 and my big huge stomach just the 3 of us. the holidays were interesting in that respect of me and d2.5 going to eat xmas eve at a resteraunt.

people may not even be thinking anything, they may be so tied up in their lives to not even pay attention, just remember why you are there and screw him if he can't step up.

it is extremely difficult to have yourself think or believe or not count on him coming home, i know that is in the back of my head and fantasy i guess.