newmama did you consider that maybe he didn't want you at the hospital with him because he was being "considerate" . Maybe he thought that it's to much to ask because you would have to deal with him and the baby. Just a thought......
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thanks for thinking positive Mila! But I really think it was b/c OW offered and since he is in a relationship with her, what do you expect.
While I was offering to go, I didn't even think of her (???) but he didn't tell me that she was there. We never speak of her...like that movie The Village. "We don't speak of those who..." I need to look it up!
He said "I'll be okay. It's in office procedure...if it was the hospital that would be different!" But he was going under which requires getting a ride home.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
WH texted me 26 times today. (re: S and his procedure)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Interesting! I hope you're being a "b!tch" about it
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
ok well to be fair, it may have been more like 9 times with 2-3 texts each!
P how is it cake eating when he asks about S and his cold, plans for visiting and how he is feeling after the procedure?
But the most I have heard from him via text in the past was like 4 or 5 times! So to me, it is above baseline.
And I have been replying when I've had time! Have been a little distracted... so I feel totally in control of myself!
So he comes to visit tomorrow. Like I said before now that he doesn't have cancer I am curious to see if his actions change back to before...he has amped up the acts of service, made big efforts to hold conversation, and it "feels" different somehow. Coincidentally he found the lump 2 weeks ago. So who knows?
I will just try to be objective, report his actions, and think "interesting. but he's still with OW." Then shrug.
Last edited by newmama; 03/06/1003:59 AM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I meant to say in the last 2-3 weeks he's amped things up!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Ok so today he was here 2.5 hours- said he would be here between 12-1 and ended up getting here before 12! Secretly I have been thinking that if he gets here earlier on a regular basis then that is good! (just being honest about my thoughts!)
So I couldn't exactly avoid him today because he couldn't lift S. I felt sooo stupid because I accidentally said "I am asking your sister if she can babysit S so I can get my hair done. I was sure to butter her up with starting the text with "MY favorite Sister in law!" Uhh...don't know what to call her right now! BUt I pretended I didn't realize what I said!
And he showed me his scar...(TMI but it is not graphic)he came out of the bathroom with his pants unzipped but his underwear was on. I jokingly said "XYZ! You forgot to button your pants!" with a smile (couldn't help it, ok?) well he smiled back and said "I'm going to show you my scar" And it is on the side--very long incision!
He was hurting like crazy and was worn out. I told him that I know he wants to see S but he really should relax tomorrow so he can recover sooner than later!
So he will play it by ear.
He sure got choked up a lot while talking about S! I am feeling confident with more weight loss so I was strutting a bit, I think! He made other small talk about other stuff. I really was busy doing some chores around the house but I couldn't stay away too long because S needed to be picked up. He said he won't be able to pick him up until Thursday but wants to be here as much as he was before! But hopefully tomorrow he won't come. I seriously don't feel like seeing him too much because this C scare really made me realize how much I love him and how much he is hurting me!!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
