I do a forty hour week normally, but can work at time between 7-7 when on over time, so I get up early go to work then ride madam after work a few times a week. Then home for us time.. Once H is working its highly unlikely he will be home before 7 unless he can start early too! Just have to make sure we plan special times in, he cant moan as my working is the consequences of his leaving! Although he has been validating my helping out which is good.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I'm glad Madam is still getting her rides. Yes, he will have to remember the time crunch from your hours was also brought about by the cost of that separate apartment for those months!
Every thing has been going nicely H is affectionate, loving, considerate but he never talks about what led him to leave or anything about that time. Today he happened to say he was glad he was on his ad's whilst having to job hunt as that was depressive enough. I mentioned it would be good to address the reasons he got so low before coming off the pills but he blanked me. Just feel I'm working so hard and giving up so much at the moment and he isn't going to address his problems just scoot a year of hell under the carpet leaving me feeling bad because I'm feeling resentful and knowing some how it's gonna be me that gets to struggle with that!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Give it time, dear. You're panicking again! Breathe. He gave you a blank look this week, but in the future, you will be able to get a heart to heart in about the whole thing. Let him focus on work at the moment - once that is settled he can go deeper to the other things. Men have a hard enough time expressing their emotions but throw on top of it the realization of how he ran away and hurt his beloved wife - it may take for him time to regain composure and admit what he's done. If you bang him over the head with it he'll only shut down. But give him more time to feel secure that all is forgiven and that your new R is going to stick before he opens up. He has to do it on his own.
Come here and vent - we all understand how damn aggravating it is.
Wait until he gets his job settled. He has enough on his plate. But I wouldn't drop the dream of him understanding WHY it happened in the long run. I agree he needs some therapy to at least learn his own red flags for the future. Or something. Then he will know what to do and have a plan for what to do when and if it starts happening again other than RUN.
But I don't know if now is the time to address it because, as he said, looking for a job is depressing enough! I hope that after the money worries die down that he will at some point in the future be able to empathize and acknowledge with your pain during the separation and how his actions impacted you. Until then, the resentment has to be journalled or dealt with in some way on your end or it will lead to blow ups and ruin the good times. And no, IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!
I'm not banging on with him it was just said for the first time in passing in response to his statement and I let it go straight away..
Never thought about the facing up to it side more the avoiding issues side so thanks for turning my thinking around on that one good to know that I can bounce things around with you girls
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I doubt you are banging. But guess what? When I'm not banging and I "think" I'm constructively "dealing" with my loss and resentment, one day out of the blue I open my mouth and it pops out in a way I did not plan, intend, or even like. So if you're feeling it, it's banging around in your head at least so you better try to force it out somewhere (journalling, to your friend, whatever) before it "pops" out if you've decided tabling it for now is the WISE thing to do. Just an observation from someone who still does not have it down over here! LOL.
Rabbit - ((HUGS)) first of all because you deserve them. You are strong and a great person. Step back, breathe, relish the good times, and let things go slowly. That's what you would tell me. I owe you big time for all your help, you find time to get me straight now find time to get yourself in the right frame of mind. You are doing great. Your M is at a decent spot right now, look back a year and compare. You are still the leader in this piecing, so lead it slowly, confidently, methodically. One crisis at a time. We have similarities, your H won't talk about what led him astray, my W still won't admit that her EA meant anything or was really wrong.
Yes, I'm slowly coming back to the boards so long as I can keep my PMA.
Write me on the alt if you like, I'll give some free one-on-one encouragement. Keep the positive momentum going.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Mmm interesting two days, had a nice early night friday as was getting quite tired, its a biggy for me to stay on track with my sleep as other Mrs Rabbit easily becomes Mrs Grumpybear lol!
Saturday had a fab day with madam, and my mate C arranged to pop in for an evening cuppa, anyway H arrived home early as a surprise, laughed about he'd catch me with my toyboy but he said he couldnt that much fun if all he drunk was tea.. Mate arrived who wasnt a toyboy but a girlfriend and we had a pleasant evening with H chipping in on our horsey conversation.
Sunday, started off feeling a bit sad about the lack of ILY's I had brought this up a few weeks back and there still a bit thin on the ground, H teased and said you got an upgrade to every five days and I laughted and said if we can get it up to every two or three that would be good I can survive that long without one. Then the jokes when I was getting readiy to leave seem to centre around "oh youre leaving me" I let it go a few times after joking he was a fine one to talk, then finally decided enough was enough and politely said that this was although a joke too close for comfort! Was pleased I stood my ground didnt really want to spoil his fun but it hurt and I needed to say so!
Had a fab time on madam the last two days sunshine and freshe air and ponies is as good as AD:s for me thank goodness spring is on the way at long last!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
