I would also read codependant no more since you are awars of the co dependant nature of your fam.
It will help / some detaching as well. Especially WHEN H has his crisis.
I am def not well versed on the A's- my W is in the middle of one now. I had been raching out to MIL who is widowed and been single for 20 plus years. I actually reached out to my Aunt in law- as she is still happily M.
It may be difficult to gain the support you require, but it sounds like you're on your way as you have MIL in your corner or at least are on good terms w/ her.
Allen gives great advice-
The distance I feel will also be a factor against you. BUT- things will run their course- you know your H better than anyone- obv he hashis issues and finds its easier to cut and run than to "improve" a sitch.
It sounds like you are doing well though. I also like the bit about the ring...good advice.
As for your sitch, again watch the pursuing, be busy, dont take every call or reply to texts immediately. Do find a good FT or MC and utilize them to set the example.
