Strange weekend. My parents anniversary was Friday but I was taking the boys to spend the night Saturday so gave them their card and present then. Went through a bunch of the girls clothes on Saturday and found a huge amount to pass on to my boss's grandaughters. Anything they didn't want I said they could donate.
Had bookclub yesterday. We had a good book but it had a great twist. It dealt with mental illness and how fragile personalities can just fall on that side when dealing with things. One of the womwn asked how could she deal with this trauma. I spoke up and said, "You put it in a box, lock it up and hide it waaaay back in the closet, just like I did." they all know a bit of what I went through. Then she said so you easily could have fallen into something like this.
Truth be told I suppose so. I can't look at my entire childhood at once as it wasn't a happy one and there is a lot of pain there. I don't blame anyone for it. I think if I had been a different sort of child it may have been worse. I was a little grown up stuck in a child's body and life. I can pull out memories left and right without a problem. I just choose the better memories.
As for now, I know I can't look at the 21 years I spent with my ex. I can pull out memories of the kids no problem but the bits with ex are sort of like him fading from the picture(think Back to the Future). I don't feel like I am hiding but just know what my limits are for now.
I mentioned coming here and how I hope I am helping others deal with all of this while I am still dealing with my own stuff. It was suggested that I stay away from here and just move on. I feel this site still helps me too. So I am here for now.
Like I said, strange weekend.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
That is a very strange weekend, but it also sounds like you were able to reflect on your own coping mechanisms quite well. It's good have a working knowledge of what has worked for you, know that is actually what you did to cope (you know sometimes we don't even realize what were doing to help ourselves), and be able to put that into words that might help someone else.
You are a great help around here and look how much your circle of friends has grown!!! Love ya!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks, Mish. The gals at bookclub were quick to say that I was strong and that I was smart. Maybe that is what has gotten me through this. That and a ton of reflection!!
I do believe that even if you are basically strong you can have fragile moments. My biological mother drank a lot from what I hear and I really don't drink alcohol because I don't want to get to the point of liking it and then possibly abusing it. Best to just avoid hopping on that ship!
Glad to know that I am helping at least a bit!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm seeing flying monkey's in my mind and humming that crazy tune from their flight during the movie. Run fast and maybe you'll get between the raindrops.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
It's been gorgeous really beautiful weather here lately. Maybe you should move to Florida??? X just sent me 2 nasty emails and I deleted both and didn't respond. I can do this nc thing, it just took me about 2 years to do it!
Love ya!
Run fast and maybe you'll get between the raindrops.