Gritt- that must have made you feel pretty good when your first wife said those things.. I don't know what the sitch was with her..but it must be comforting that she looks back with some regret.
Will I look back on my H in the same way you are looking at your ex? Like it is sort of just...well insignificant?
It feels bittersweet really because had she said those things back then we probably could have weathered it. She just checked out. Caught her in multiple EA situations that I think were PA. How do know that anyway if your not there when they are doin' it? Ha!
When you're young you tend not to let love work. I mean there are many things that are truly heartbreaking like affairs and you say to yourself I'm young F-ck it she/he F-cked up I'm outa here! And if nobody can bridge the gap between you then it's over. This place is about taking your commitment seriously and taking yourself, life and love seriously. I know you said you are not especially religious. I consider myself more spiritual than religious but I can tell you this there is some great wisdom in that big book. You'll see people quote Corinthians 13? I believe that's it. You've heard it before at every wedding you've been to.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not Jealous or boastful etc. It really comes in to focus when you are dealing with adversity. And I have to say when you're ready to listen it speaks to you differently during your life. Give it a read.
Also go look at my thread. Some people have been giving me some amazing advice. I didn't know when I started talking here but it seems we are in similar positions. Our spouses are not doing this because they are manipulative or cheaters. They don't know why they did it. They just feel like Sh*t inside. We can never understand that. They will continue to hurt themselves and us until they figure out the answer is inside them.
We can't do anything. Read the email I sent my W. I don't know what to tell you to do but I don't think it's time to take him back. He's got to deal with the demons.
Lostforwords posted on my thread if they come back before they're ready you will get a dog listening to, throw them a treat, and then there off! Dogs are actually better than our H and W. I am lucky I have my pup. He's keeping me sane.
Gritt
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
