How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

Thanks for all the advice. After reading my post and thinking about what I said, I did come across as controlling and that is the last behavior I want to exhibit right now.

Every time I suggested we or her alone get professional help she shoots it down and says "They cannot make a person change their mind, I don't want to be with you and that is it, so I am not going to talk to anyone.

My wife tells me everyone is telling her that she should get out now because it is not good for her mental well being. One person in particular is her father. Now I would think that if a father had any indication his daughter is in a bad situation he would speak out about it and approach me on it, he has not. I can't say she is not telling the truth but that is just my take.

I also learned she is painting a bad picture of me to others she speaks to...leading these individuals to believe things were physical between here and I. She is at the point where she is now fabricating stories to make it worse than it ever was, so much that she has started to believe in her thoughts (such as I did with my insecurities).

My question is what do I do from here? Do I offer for her to go out and do things with me or do I shut her out to an extent? I want to create a positive environment for her but I also don't want to mislead her and le her believe it was OK what she done even though she find no problem in it.

As far as the OM situation I will just have to monitor it. Talk tot he OMW as often s I can and encourage friends to "look out." Last I heard, OM was crying to his wife and she threw him out again.