Ditance is almost always a negative... if you CAN have a conversation without hurting each other at least...
1. Well, you could get a band and if he asks, you tell hiim you bought that soon after the ring was stolen until he replaced it... you do'nt have to tell him you just bought it now... he may think he just didn't notice you had it?
2. I am a bit confused, if your husband moved elsewhere to earn money for a businsss, why don't you two have the money to file? If he's not making enough $$ with this venture then tell him to come BACK?
3. I would be exposing to anyone who you think would pressure him to END his affair and to come HOME. It sounds like you have some very resourceful family members there, so I would be tapping into that as much as I can... he may be far away, but they can CALL him and tell him they hope he works things out iwth you and they CAN give him advice on how to repair his marriage.. they can at the VERY least offer him HOPE...
They can call him and say "I have every reason thinkk you two can repiar your marriage, you just need to focus 100% and make an honest commitment to work with her... she is willing to work with you". If you can get 5 or 10 people from his side of the family telling him THAT, it will help a LOT
4. NEVER trust a marriage counsellor's title... ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS interview the MC as if they were being HIRED to work on your marriage, that is what they are DOING.. always interview them to find out where their head is at... if they don't seem to understand infidelity ..
I would even casually ASK them : "Is there any books or authors on infidelity that I can read?... do you know the names of any books or authors??"
You hit them with THAT and then you have your pen and paper ready... if they can't give you ANYTHING off the top of their head.. that' is a HUGE red light...
I mean, YOU can name Glass and you aren't even an MC, I EXPECT a MC to have at LEAST HEARD of Shirley Glass... I would NOT work iwht a FT who wasn't at least willing to READ her... I don't expect them ALL to heave heard and read her, but I would HOPE they at least would be willing to read her book, having already HEARD about it...
Spring's After the Affair is popular as well.. its written with teh WAYWARD spouse in mind as the audience, so you may find it a bit too supportive of their feelings and to gloss over the miserable way the abandoned spouse is treated, but that's my take.. its a popular book too.. and not too bad.
I like Phil McGraw. He has a lot of good stuff to say about affairs.. or I should say NOT good stuff to say.. he despises them... he won't supoprt them at all.. which I always love to hear.. you can go to www.Drphil.com and find his articles easy enough, he has at least a half dozen on infidelity.
