Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

Allen- Thank you for your blueprint and your offer to help. I appreciate it. I am willing to put your points to work. I will go through your points one by one.

1. Unfortunately, I do not have a wedding ring and have not had one for 3 years. My H bought me a upgrade ring to replace my original wedding ring. This was stolen from my home during a party and I haven't had one since. My H had said that he would buy me a new one for our 10 year anniversary but that was last year and he had already left the marriage by then. I should probably have brought a regular band to replace it. Doing that now would probably be seen as pursuing I guess.

2. I have no interest in filing for divorce. We would not be able to afford it anyway's. Our finances are depleted. That is something he would have to initiate.

3. So far I have had no distractions concerning our marriage inside our home as it is just me and the kids live here. Outside the home only certain people know about our situation. Mostly family, who for the most part, have been supportive. Some of them have encouraged me to move to where my H lives and some have said "forgot about him, you don't need him." NONE of them know about this latest development which is the OW. Except for my MIL and she has been so encouraging to me. Nothing has changed with my H's family. They are still loving to us no matter what H has does. As for the OW, I know nothing about her except that she is young with no kids and that she is living in the same apartment complex as my H.

4. It is a coincidence you suggested this. I was definately going to do this. Only difference is that I was going to look for a therapist for myself. I was going to a counselor last year but I stopped going. I didn't seem to be getting anywhere with her. She was a marriage counselor but I don't think she really had dealt with just one spouse who wants to save their marriage when the other spouse did not. I was planning to call the divorcebusting site to see what their recommendations were for my area. Should I just look for a family therapist where my kids and I go together? They are young and really don't know whats going on regarding H and I.

5. I have started reading "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass and I plan on reading Divorce Remedy again. Do you have any other suggestions on reading material dealing with those topics?

You are right about the long time separation, the only thing with this is that my H lives 14 hours away now along with the OW. They did not move down there together. She moved down there after the fact. He claims that were and are good friends and that she began inquiring about the job prospects down there. Obviously, she liked what she heard and moved where is he is. H also says she believed in what he was trying to accomplish by starting the entertainment company which he started 2 years ago and she was a part of and this new clothing line that she is co-owner of. He has been back for his sisters 30th birthday party, all of the kids birthdays, the beginning of the new school year, Halloween, and Christmas. His shortest visit was 3 days and the longest was 2 weeks which was during the x-mas holiday. So, you see I really don't see my H that much. We just have phone contact which varies from every 2-3days to up 5 days. I never call him. When a phone call is initiated on my end it is from the kids. When he calls I answer and we usually talk then the kids talk. I am thinking that this different state separation is and has worked against me.