How to approach W about OM

[4luv]

"I told her as long as we are married you will not make these calls any longer, you need to respect me at the very least.

I don't know what is going through her head right now but she is certain she wants out."

I was typing when you wrote your latest update. Watch your wording. The above sounds controlling to me. She can continue to make the calls but YOU have the choice of how you react. Make some boundaries and when she crosses them then she has the consequences that you have determined (i.e. you no longer pay for the phone bill, etc.). Leave the choice with her but you have your boundaries in place.