Talia, thanks so much for your post! (And I've gotta figure out how to lock my thread and start a new one too). I actually read that same quote this morning and it had me thinking too... but it actually had me thinking of something else: this was the role reversal during much of our M. I would often have doubts, say every 6 or 12 months, if he was the right one for me, perhaps we should take a break (kind of like what TTA's H has done)...and then when H left I was like, 'no I don't want to lose you..I want to address things work on us, etc' But too late, he didn't want to give us another chance again.
Anyway, that's in the past..and you're right, I actually think HE is doing some of that same stuff now. I think my move is pushing him to take action...but unfortunately not the action I want; it's making him want to finalize things now. But all the blame he's recently laid on me (my fault he's in debt, my fault i 'didn't let him file last yr' - come on!) is absolutely passive aggressive behavior.
I won't sign anything on the spot, and I'm not going to let him manipulate me into anything. He's trying to be somewhat kind one minute, and then get something the next. He's just been really selfish lately for the most part.
I thought of you when I posted above about the core beliefs...b/c I know you have the same stance too. I think both of us are trying to deal w the cards we've been dealt with humility and grace (and try to become better throughout this process). I think we've tried most everything, and should be proud for that.
I like your new list. I am trying to be grateful for the little things and well.
Wishing you peace. Sounds like you're getting yourself in awesome shape these days. Hugs! hhh
