Yup, these guys are right, ignore what she's telling you day to day, its jsut her impulses...
NOW, ONE mistake you DID make...
When your wife told you he was easy to talk to...
You told her YOU were here for her..
THAT is a BIG NO NO.. you are pursuing
Let me make this point clear
1. it is GOOD to attack an affair and break it up 2. it is NOT good to pursue your spouse for relationship talk
Attakck the affair, IGNORE talking to your spouse about marriage
Let me say it again
Attack the affair IGNORE the talks
What you SHOULD have told her was
1. He is NOT trained to save marriages 2. He is NOT licensed 3. He has PROBLEMS of his OWN to deal with 4. It is a violation of MY privacy to open up our marital problems to someone in your workplace 5. It is disrespectful to me to lie to me about where you are giong and to sneak around with him in private
It is OK if she doen'st want to talk to you It is OK if she wants help It is OK if she wants someone to understand her It is OK if she is angry with you, you HAVE made mistakes
What you need to do is
1. Tell her, its OK if you do'nt wnat to talk to me 2. Tell her it is NOT OK to talk to someone who isn't QUALIFIED to help you -- There ARE professionals that are TRAINED to help, lets call one and get us the help we need
OK?
Do NOT pursue your wife
Attack the affair, do NOT FORCE your WIFE to OPEN UP to you... ESPECIALLY if they are opening up to someone else... they will NOT talk to you right NOW
They MAY talk to a family therapist... Just get them the help they need, put them in GOOD hands, and give them SPACe... and PROTECT them from parasites until their head is straight again
1. Get them the help they need 2. Leave them alone 3. Protect them from parasites
Three tasks to save yoru marriage during a crisis
You did 3 today, but you missed on number 2.. no biggie... you had a good day
