How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

Just an update. I made an appointment for myself to go see FT on Tuesday. Its the one that wrote the articles that I posted. I haven't spoken to him but I asked his receptionist about his credentials and she told me that he has been providing FT for over 20 years and that he is against divorce. I told the receptionist I would rather talk to the FT when I meet with him. Luckily over half of my sessions are free and covered by insurance. Last time husband and I saw a therapist we were paying 120.00/hour and I think the money alone turned husband off.

I have been feeling anxious these last few days and today its even worst. I have this feeling of not knowing the future with my marriage and my family...it could really go either way. That makes me feel uneasy. Lately husband has been using me as a sounding board for his feelings, etc. and I think as much as I want to listen to him, it is getting to me. Its hard to just listen to him say things like:
1. Sometimes this separation feels good and sometimes it feels bad.

2. I feel like I just want to give up...I want to wipe my slate clean and just start over

3. I loved two women in my entire life and I have a child by both of those women...(i.e. me and OW)

4. I am not sure if I want to work on the marriage...i just want to find out why I feel the way I feel, etc.

I know this is script but I can't listen to it any more. I told husband today that I would rather wait to discuss those topics during counseling because I don't have any answers for him. I told himi that I was also confused and didn't know which way to go so thats why I need to meet with FT.

Allen,

I will not be able to hand husband the FT card due to us living long distance but I will text him the information and tell him he can make the appointment. Is this a good idea or do I just let him know when my appointments are and tell him that he can come. Not sure how to really word it to husband...I don't want to pursue.