Things have calmed down for the momemt; she's actually been quite friendly and has started talking to me about some of the things going on in her life. Good opportunity to listen and validate her feelings. Things still seem to be unraveling for her. As much as it is painful for me to see this happening to her, I just suck it up and agree with what she is saying and listen, listen, listen.
Yes, it IS a good opportunity to listen and validate; what she's saying is painful to you because you cannot do anything to help her, she must help herself. More will come, Cyclone; hang in there; no pushing; no "trying to fix"..but you know these things.
You're bringing back many memories for me of the times I spent with my husband in that same situation; him talking, me listening, validating; even though I didn't like what he was saying especially when he brought himself down, saying he was a failure. In my opinion, people FAIL at things, even me, but it doesn't MAKE them a total failure..that is the feeling the MLC'er has within themselves, and they must get past that on their own.
Right or wrong, they and anyone else are entitled to their feelings, and verbalizing the problem to someone they trust is the only way of getting it out in the open, so it doesn't look as bad as one would think. We, as human beings, have a way of "blowing things up" in our heads much bigger than things really are. The process of "purging" gets it out into the open so we can gain a better perspective on the problem; that works much the same for the MLC'er that is "breaking down".
It's ok that things continue to "unravel" for her; this is something SHE must do, and it is good you are there for and with her.
Things should continue to calm down, I hope, bringing an end to this storming that's been going on.
Keep us posted; you and your wife continue to be in my prayers; I've got an assurance things will be all right as time goes on.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
