OK- stop the phone calls, or only let him speak w/ the children- stay mysterious and happy if you do speak to him, stop the ILY's and I miss you texts or e-mails...detach and be happy or act happy w/ the way things are.
I guess that's the best advice I can give-
You've already asked about therapy, so you don't need to ask again.
Some may suggest you go ahead and file, I don't really know what the right answer is- but keep asking around.
Share your feelings here, if you speak w/ H, do not get emotional or do and R talk.
Will follow up more later.
Maynard... not in this case no...
I have to read more, but this is the general point, many people on this forum need to hear this ponit :
If you WANT to SAVE your marriage, then THAT is your focus, you LEAD your spouse by EXAMPLE on the doing of this
1. Keep your RING on 2. Do NOT file for divorce 3. ZERO tolerance for threats or distractions to your marriage from inside or outside the home 4. Start REGULAR family therapy with a GOOD FT 5. Educate yourself on buildnig a marriage AND PROTECTING a marriage from threats
This is the process in a nutshell.
If you WANT to SAVE yoru marriage 1 - 5 should be followd.
Number 3 is the tricky one, particularly with affairs
The THREATS in many cases is your SPOUSE as well as the OP.. so you may have to protect YOURSELF and your marriage from THEM... meaning do NOT talk to them, do NOT argue with them, and do NOT fight with them... keep AWAY until YOU aren't doing DAMAGE to your marraige by interacting with your spouse
As long as YOU can't have a civil conversation wtih yoru spouse, you need to keep AWAY from them.
This does NOT mean separate. I only reccomend separation if acting responsibly proves ineffective... and i do not call it separation, i call it PROTECTION.. big difference
A LOT of people think of separation as a STEPPING STONE to divorce, and many start AFFAIRS while they are separated.
I term it protection meaning, you have EVERY INTENTION of saving your marriage, but right now the best way to save it is to protect yourself from your spouse and them from you... THAT is nOT the same as separation...
Now... NEVER FILE FOR DIVORCE.. why would you do that? You want to kEEP your marriage right?
Then make THEM file...
I will read more for this case in detail, lots to read here... a quick summary might help I am at work now so I don't have the time to read over much... but I would like to help.
What I did see was a long time separation, a husband having an affair with his business partner, and the wife here wants to save the marriage is that right?
1. You need to set your boundaries 2. Do NOT tolerate being lied to - don't argue about it either, zero tolerance 3. you need to get your H to commit to No Contact with OW 4. you need to get your H educated about marriage and infidelity
THese are the tasks at hand
how to do those if you want to I will write more later.. I just did a quick scan of the thread... sorry if I missed anything important... be back soon
