GIMA and Mo3, I'd like to read more about your sitches. It comforts me to read about the journeys of others who dare to hope for the possibility of reconciliation.
Well, if you want encouragement and the possibility of reconciliation, you probably don't want to read mine. But, I think I know what you mean.
On the spiraling down, stop and take a deep breath. What is it that is the root cause for your spiraling? Probably fear, at some base level. Fear of what, exactly?
If you can identify the base fear, ask yourself whether the belief upon which the fear is based is a reasonable belief. If it's an unreasonable belief (and they usually are), then replace it with a reasonable one. Then watch what happens with your emotions. Emotion follows thought, not the other way around.
If your belief is reasonable (and again, this is the minority of times), then come up with a plan to deal with it or fix it.
Give this little exercise a try. It really does work.
And, (I think I have recommended this book numerous times) have you read "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. One of the best books I have read.
As for the medication route, there is NO shame in going that way if you need it. Seek out a psychiatrist (she/he could help with the ADHD piece too - my S is ADHD).
