Emotional heavy lifting.

[sage]

A few years ago my stepmother was complaining that she was the one "doing all the work" in her r. with my dad. She felt as though she was the one identifying problems, fixing them, etc and she resented it. At the time I told her "If you're the one that's good at it, why wouldn't you do it?" -- so akin to her being the "stronger" one in the r.

I still believe that, in part, but my DB'ing has taught me that sometimes it SEEMS like you're the "only one able to do it" in the R. when in fact you're so busy hoisting heavy loads yourself that you miss the point that the other person is growing weaker because they're not getting a chance to flex their muscles!

I guess another way to look at it is this...for a long time I felt like I was the only one doing stuff around the house. that may have been in part because I was just getting there first...so, when I dropped the rope, h started doing stuff too. We've fallen into a sort of much more balanced sitch now...but it's become clear that while I don't mind "doing" the wash, I hate folding it...so...I don't think it's too terrible for him to do that because he's "better" at it than I am. Luckily, he agrees!

I think the same could be true for more R related stuff...maybe it'll turn out that I'm better at some pieces than he is and vice versa but I do think that some sort of balance will come about.

Sage