Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

P you are right. I know where I stand with me-not ready for a divorce. I am in limbo and I think it is normal for this kind of situation (big C scare) to make anyone speculate about their spouse and feel rejected yet AGAIN for not being asked to go when I offered.

Newmama, I feel a sh*t for saying what I did. I feel like I'm bursting your bubble but I feel I need to say it for your sake. Remember it was me, you, Cutter (as he was then) and DbD all in here on our ownsome posting on each others threads. We've come through this with you from the start and I will only speak for myself here but I really do care about what is going on between you and WH to the extent (believe it or not) I actually had a rotten night's sleep thinking about your sitch (not looking for sympathy - just a fact!). That makes it all the more difficult to say it.

However, it does need to be said, out of caring and not out of vindictiveness. And to quash any question of something posted yesterday, my heart is not closed or bitter.

WH texted to say he was sore and wouldn't be able to visit S for awhile. He is checking with his dr. to see what she says aboout driving. I think this is excellent because if he was home with me, he wouldn't have to go a week without seeing his bundle of joy!

That is good. He may see that his actions have consequences.

And one more thing-I think I saw somewhere that he won't be able to "do the deed" (or the w----) for 3 weeks? So it will be interesting to see what happens when they don't share that together...and if abstinence clears his head!

If WH has had it removed, he won't be doing much of anything (driving, walking, sitting or the other) for quite some time - three weeks I would say is a little optimistic!

Last, my goal is first to bust the divorce but I know that WH is still having an A. I can't do anything more to end the A.

I actually disagree with that last statement. I think you can stop visitation with S at your home, go dim, dark or pitch black (you choose). Dating? You've mentioned that in the past. There are lots of other things you can try to force him to make a decision either way - remember WAS's are cowards; they generally need to be pushed to make a decision.

Have you measured how far DBing has taken you along the road to busting the D or the A?

It really is up to me for how long I will wait. And I do not have to set a deadline. I will know when I'm ready!:-)

You're absolutely right. Only you know. You're the one on the ground. But make sure you do it before you get bitter or hatred creeps in. These are bad emotions to have for us all.

SO now that this cancer scare is over with, I will be back to GAL and I am ready to not worry what he thinks of me. BUT I will still curious about what he's thinking although I'm past obsession now.

I hope you get to the point where you will stop being curious about what he's thinking altogether. That's when you will truly detach.

And if I had the money, I'd fly out, believe me. You are a good, strong, committed and loyal person and somebody I would want to be in my circle of friends. I hope YOU realise that though.