Fast track to her divorcing me

[g450]

CTH I was also on match.com. I actually did send out a few emails and got almost all rejections. More like ingoring as only one woman there had enough courtesy to say she was not interested.

And I am pen-palls with another lady right now. I am letting my account there expire. Just do not feel good about online dating sights anymore. And I will stop actively persuing for now. I came to the realization that I may not be ready to date just yet.

I will wait a few months to check how I feel about dating and just work on detaching for now.

I have a female friend that I see off and on who considers me only a friend but I am starting to like her more than I should and it has me worried that I could be confusing my feelings for her for something that could all be in my head. I am taking a step back and staying only friends because I do not want to hurt her and enjoy her in my life.

I never realized how far reaching and destructive a divorce is to somebodys life. I trully believe my XW has no clue what destruction and pain she has created. I should hate her but somehow I can't. It would be easier if I could though.

I agree with HWC that an OM could be an eventuallity no matter what BS she fed me before and after our D. I have to prepare myself for that I suppose and this is where detaching comes into play.

As far as my XW is concerned, if she wants me or needs me then she knows where I live and what my phone number is. Its 100% on her. She used to say I was smothering her. Really!?!
Well she can no longer say that. I took that excuse away.

She is living in that house alone with her cat and neither me or my Son are there to smother her anymore. She can either relish in her High School facebook fantasy of 1974 or she can remember all the good times we had in the 23 years together and realize what she threw away. That's her call. But if she feels the need to scratch an ich that she has been denying me for a such a long time then I will know that my detachment will be complete.

And if she thinks that there aren't women out there that would be interested in me then she would be sadly mistaken. Regardless of my bad luck on match dot com. I now know better and my self esteem has gotten a boost this week end.