What Now?

[WhatNow]

I haven't posted here for awhile. Nothing much was happening. I have been keeping up with the rest of you though. I have been living my life and trying to keep the kids on track, getting projects done around here, seeing friends etc. Not posting kept my feelings at bay...I don't want to dwell on the loneliness, especially since the peacefulness is so nice.

Until last week....

DS13 was diagnosed with anxiety and Depression last spring. (Medicated with Zoloft, Welbutrin and concerta now) He has had lots of behavior problems at school. He has been a bully target since 4th grade, and responds with anger. I have been fighting with the school all year to meet his needs, but they just want him out. Now they say suspension for the rest of the year, so find him a new school. He crumpled a test and threw it a the teacher. Disrespectful YES! A threat? NO.
Now the kid has "drop foot" Paralysis of his left foot. No etiology known yet. We are headed to the neuro today. Pediatrician and orthopaedic are stumped (ha ha) They have ruled out medication, blood, muscle, and spine disorders.
All this means I had to come out of the dark and deal with WH, who is still living in scuzzy motel with OW. I have been calm, albeit upset about DS. Only had to see him once. He looks terrible, even tho he is "On vacation"! He hasn't gone to any of the school meetings or Dr appts but calls to find out what was said. In these conversations, he goes on to talk about his life as if I was an old friend! Yesterday, I told him I was not his friend, but his wife whom he left.

So what do I do now. How should I be? I cannot remember how I was so I could 180. Talking after 10 weeks is a 180.

I just want to be done with all of this. I do not need him to help me through this. DS does. He has only seen DS once in 10 weeks!

All I want to hear from him is "I dumped the ho, Let's fix our family."