User Manual: New Clubs with new Geek foreword (at the end)
Congratulations on your brand new clubs. And since you have this manual in hand you must need it.
Any and all clubs may be blessed, exorcised, prayed over, faith healed, etc. However, no clubs are allowed to touch the earth during the cleansing process. Remember, your ass is trash unless the club's on the grass.
To ensure optimal performance each club group should be initiated individually. There is reason why each has its own name.
Driver: Choose the location to strap that long lean club in using your vehicle's seat belt. If you're tentative about its performance, select the passenger side. If confident, put the driver in the driver's seat. Go for a ride. Removing the club cover is optional.
Woods: Woods have become somewhat confused, no longer made from trees but still named after them. There are various woods initiations as follows:
Partaking in an oxymoron.. like stirring jumbo shrimp with the non wood woods
Walking through a forest while singing "Men in Tights" (to alleviate future tight lies) or
Going to Vegas a la Tiger for the ultimate tight lie.
Flexibility has always been a hallmark of fine wood...s.
Irons: Place a wrinkled pair of cotton boxers on an ironing board. Heat the irons with an iron. Once hot, use the minimum amount of strokes to smooth the boxers with the aforementioned club. Keep track. The number of strokes will reflect the total for a hole.
