You sound very very down at the moment. I think you are right to keep taking your medication and see a cousellor tomorrow.
Your H has pulled you into his rollercoaster game which will emotinally destroy you. That is why all the advice given to you here tells you to pull away for your own health. Don't let him destroy you. It has been said many times but this is not your fault. You are lovely person and a good wife.
You cannot make things better for him. He has to travel this journey of discovery on his own.
None of this is easy and we have all struggled finding our place of peace as we walk our path. You can find yours where you can stand on the sidelines as your H flies by.
