As I mentioned, my "friends" tried to defend their stance on "not getting involved" or supporting W's decision by claiming the importance of "individual happiness."
UGH-
I simply told her that I understand what she's saying but that her views on M are naive- that M is a responsibility and not one to be taken lightly.
Again, this is to a couple whom were invited to our wedding.
Marynard - I know what it's like to cutoff joint friendships. In my sitch I lost just about all of our friend. I keep hearing "she done" let it go, "she done" - "you should just file". To be honest with you, I sometime agree with them; however, I did make a promise to God that I will keep until I just can't anymore. I've been working on detaching and that helps but I do find myself saying..."they why the heck am I married" - staying in the house with my kids (especially my D) is the reason. I'm not sure if you have kids but if you do - look at them.
Glad to see you enjoyed yourself last night!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I hear you Eric- don't know if your friends are M, but in my case they are not-
The one girl; wonders why she and her BF are together 7 years w/o getting engaged yet. Sadly w/ her views, she may fall prey to her own naivity if she does M.
It feels good to nix a few people...I don't even care if they don't understand- I established a boundary and I have lost respect for them. But I will be civil if I see them or am invited somewhere.
No kids for me, but 3 awesome dogs, 1 mine- haven't seen the other 2 in a while- miss them terribly though
Allen, I've been reading your advice in other sitches and have a question...
W had recently removed her married name from her FB profile- should I respond to some of her friends that just b/c she's removed her M name- does not mean she is not having an A?
I still very much believe W is giving script- I believe that b/c our issues are very common and easily fixable.
I know W has done this so that she has fewer questiions to answer about her A.
As Gno mentioned, my sitch may be quite a bit diff as W has admitted the A and her intentions to D.
Should I also contact OM and let him know what I think of him?
I'm not interested in getting too involved at this point. I feel like W's admission to the A and her actions thus far to embrace the A- are enough to ward off anything from me...painting me to look as though I am in denial, etc.
I appreciate the advice and I too agree...facts are facts and most of them already know she is not yet D...
As for OM, I dont want too continue down the road I did before...it was easier though as both W and OM1 kept denying...now that W and OM2 are FB official- I cant really see the use in doing anything- though I would mind running into him sometime...
OK, I know I'll probably get hit w/ a few 2x4's...I also know that I should not attempt to enter WAW's mind.
That being said- why is it I am still waking up and thinking about W?
It's been a month plus since she's been out of the house and even before that she was never really here.
I understand that she has moved on, that our M is not a priority nor is any responsibility to me.
Something I did not mention...I came home last night and the dogs were here- two of hers.
I've established the boundary w/ her- and I texted her that she needs to repect it. Before I took them to the barn and left them in her office...now I'm just thinking about taking care of them anyway- as they are great company.
I know this makes her life easier and she can go be w/ OM2 or do whatever she wants to do- I'm not happy about it...actually pretty conflicted on what the right thing to do is.
Everything I cautioned W about in the early days has happened. She's a trainer and has become friends w/ all of her clients- now that entire life (business) is her new social life as well- when things were good w/ us she had little interest in socializing w/ them so unfortunately I never met most of them.
Anyway- it's about me now. I'm playing golf w/ some friends in a few hours and then I'll probably clean a bit and go out tonight.
I guess what bothers me is a 6yr R is teetering on disaster, and it only means something to me.
Had a decent day playing golf...now back at home gonna clean up a bit and take care of the dofs. I'm still unsure of whether to send them back to W's work as this seems to be a cycle.
I can stop the cycle by keeping them where they are well taken care of and comfortable- the problem is that I established the boundary of not doing so while W is having an A.
Feel like there's no real correct answer to this one.
Have not communicated w/ W, don't really have the energy to attempt it anyway.
Trying to find something to do tonight- wish I had the ambition of dating (escaping).
At least I'm aware that it is an escape, so my motives would be wrong anyway.
