Better Days

[ClingingToHope]

I'm dreading every step in the process, but also curious about it. I guess that's my reporter background. I've gotten all kinds of advice on the divorce process but won't really know until I go through it.

Mediation is going to be interesting because I'm not going to budge on joint physical custody. I can't imagine have to ride home with W after mediation. That had to be awful.

In a way, this all will be better once the process is done because then there won't be all this posturing. Last night, in my case, is a good example. D11 had a play and W and D7 had tickets and I bought my own.

The theater seated us together. The play ended at 9:30 p.m. and W still had to get D11 home, cleaned up and to bed.

It would have made sense for me to take D7 to my place and get her to bed.

I didn't ask because it wasn't my night and I believe her L has told her not to ask me for help because I could use it in a custody fight. I also hesitated because I'm not totally out of the "she has to feel the consequences" stage.

And the money front. Four years ago I started putting money into Sharebuilder.com. It's a sight where you can buy partial shares of companies instead of having to invest in large lots.

It was up to $4,000 last year.

After I moved out, an old root canal snapped off and I needed a tooth implant. Well, that's $2,200 and not covered by insurance. Plus, of course, W continued to move toward a D and I needed money for a retainer.

It was a joint account -- but I drained it. I couldn't afford taking on a loan for the tooth implant. I still ended up borrowing $1,000 from my credit union for the final part of the retainer.

I'm guessing that'll be an issue once we begin talking finances. My point will be that I would have had to take out loans and since there's no legal separation W would have been on the hook for half anyway. Better to just pay it off.

I've since opened a Sharebuilder account just in my name. It's how I plan to buy a house in two years -- if W doesn't lose ours to foreclosure, which remains a worry.