Great recap of your sitch, and it has similarities to mine (and lots of others). I may not post a lot at this point, but I am following along.
Sounds like you are handling this well, or as well as you can.
I can tell you from my experience, limbo is pretty awful. Focus on yourself right now and the kids and figure out what you really want. There will be some fear associated with whatever you decide to do. And that's ok, as long as you control it and not the other way around.
