No longer sitting on the fence

[motherof3]

The past week, H and I have been exchanging emails and phone conversations mostly about the kids. Sometimes I would initiate the contact but also vice versa. Occasionally H would ask me how I am doing, but I feel that he was only asking as a courtesy. More like asking to be polite, rather than really wanting to know the answer. In our conversations I have been upbeat and cheerful. I have been trying to get a more in depth conversation going by asking more personal yet non-invasive questions; questions that didn’t have anything to do with the kids. H would always answer, but never in detail.

The other day H had emailed to ask how S6 was feeling. (S6 had stayed home from school the day before.) H also stated that he now wasn’t feeling well.

I replied that S6 was doing much better; that he had bounced out of bed…yada, yada….I am sorry to hear that you aren’t feeling well.

I continue on describing a funny story about S4. (Since the separation I would have never shared this type of info with him.)

I also tell H that S6 has been bugging me about taking him to Chuck E Cheese’s sometime soon. (This outing is a reward for S6 for achieving certain things at school and home.) In my email I let H know that I was thinking about taking the kids sometime this weekend. Then I go out on a limb. I ask H if he is interested in meeting us there. That way the parent to kid ratio would be 2:3 and I would be able to spend some ‘quality’ Chuck E Cheese time with S4 as well.

H's reply: “Appreciate the offer and have heard him (S6) talking about it but I am gone this weekend and traveling on business early next week. We can do it next weekend if S6 is willing to wait. Just keep me posted. Otherwise, you can take S4 one of my weekend days next week if you are interested in having 1 on 1 time.”

Initially I was upset to hear that H was going out of town. I immediately wanted to know the details. Where was he going? Who with? Does this mean OW? But I didn’t ask. I haven’t responded to his email yet.

What to do? Do I go ahead and take the kids this weekend without H? Do I wait until next weekend? I definitely plan on taking him up on the offer to spend some alone time with S4. S4 definitely needs the attention.

Overall, in the last week the correspondence with H has been neutral or maybe even a little positive. IDK. At the very least, we are communicating on some level.

I have another DB coaching session setup for Saturday. It will be interesting to hear what Lori will have to say.