I do think The Work helps. The whole April anxiety for LFA--which I share---oh, trying so hard to say, to think, to know: I DON"T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. Yes, I want to plan for the worst so I can be ready. But after we make that plan, can we put it away, and try to just worry about today? Save tomorrow for tomorrow....
I wouldn't worry about the fairness of asking for 1/2 the L fee. Why should he get a break because OW sister is L?! Argh, the injustice! If your L says it is a normal negotiating point, ask for it.
I'm sure you can't take the thread space to explain how you get out of the house with only $4K, but see what you can work to your advantage there. If H is going to have a SECURE place to live, and you are only going to have $4K to start again--is there alimony? value of the house to you over time? Something to make the final situation more equitable. It is not equitable, as I see it, (with very little information) that H gets a place to live WITH an income-producing apartment, and you just have enough to get started on a rental. I guess it just means talk more to your L.
I know what you mean about "is this petty? is this mean?" exactly as I posted. So hard to know that taking care of business, money, future needs is NOT being a terrible b**ch, money-grubbing, etc. So hard not to FEEL that way.
I'm sorry about your Mom. Mine died 15 years ago. In many ways, I'm glad she isn't here to see me go through this. Given her temper, I don't think X would be safe if she were still around! It would be great to have her to support and help me, but it would hurt her so much to see me so hurt. Well, it is as it is.
Roller-coasters, shmoller-coasters. Let's get on the bumper car ride, instead! So much more fun!
