No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[pigskin]

Thanks flowmom.

I actually have read the book. I've been at this for just about 2 years now and I've tried alot of things. In the beginning, I definitely wasn't the "nice guy". I remained friendly but not pursuing, detached, etc. That didn't work. In fact, it actually pushed her farther away and she was very confrontational.

So I went the friend route which she was much more receptive to.

Bottom line is that she's got alot of growing up to do in terms of relationships. She'd rather run away from something uncomfortable than deal with it. And those whom she feels uncomfortable with, she cuts them out of her life. She did that with her best friend and had tried to do it with me. Problem is that since we have children together, she can't get rid of me! LOL.

This talking to her about the issues to let her open up is actually a new thing. It's taken a long time to get here, but I'll see how this goes. If it doesn't work, I'll switch gears again.

Anyone else with suggestions?

Maybe just be sure to go slow with it. It seems like a good thing that your W offered that she had an issue with feeling that her opinion didn't matter. Its better than not telling you about what bugged her because she has completely shut you out.

If she's anything like my wife, and I think she is, be sensitive to issues she brings up that might be trivial to you, such as stopping the paper. It obviously bugged her, so to her it was a big deal or she wouldn't have mentioned it. I've been working on not judging the severity of the issues my W brings up.

Good luck with this.