I WISH OWH would have called and told me about them. Yes, I eventually found out through phone records. My kids and may have been saved from the months of hostility and blame we were receiving from him. His dad was dying, and he was cheating on me, but he was blaming us for his unhappiness, and using that as an excuse to be away from home all the time. LET HER KNOW!
Affairs thrive in secrecy. The excitement from the secrecy FEEDS it. Make it clear to your W that you want to repair your marriage, but you cannot be her friend while she is actively destroying it and you! Co workers, friends, and family members need to know. ASK them to support your marriage by encouraging her to end this affair. Exposure is not done to spite or for revenge, but to bust the affair. Then, you back off while all h%^& breaks loose on them. I think you should also expose your knowledge to OM, ask him to respect your marriage and and leave your wife alone.
Yes, it is scary. It may push them together even more. Have you been able to keep them apart? Pushing them together and forcing them to look at what they are doing, while everyone they know is judging them too, and fight about it all, may force an ending. At least you can throw a wrench in the fairytale.
I believe they have had sex. She is in too deep to not have. Doesn't really matter tho, damage to your marriage has been done.
Get the book "Not just Friends" by Shirley Glass.
Keep up the good efforts on yourself. Do it for yourself, not to win her back. She did not get involved elsewhere because of these things. It is not your fault. You can look at why later, when you get out of this chaos she has created. Save yourself!
Keep posting. Even if you disagree with us. Some of us love to debate our advice!
BTW, I am in the dark, quietly watching things crumble.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
