Onwards and upwards!

[P17]

Okay, I've been meaning to update my thread for a while now. I will forget some things I think but here goes.

Counsellor:

Saw my counsellor recently and she made me realise I'm no longer married in my head. Marriage for me isn't that bit of paper you get. It's the commitment, the vows, the love, the future. The bit of paper is a legal thing. That's not marriage.

There is no commitment, love or future anymore. The vows have been broken. There is no marriage left.

Legally, we're still married but not in any other sense.

So a D, that would be easy, right?

No, and that's what I'm going to concentrate on now.

My marriage didn't disappear overnight. It was stolen from me in the middle of the night but a collaboration of two people, neither of whom I know. One was a woman I thought I would grow old with but turned into a liar, a cheat, a deceiver and to have no morals or courage to stand up for what she always said was important to her. And a man who I don't know but thought it okay to help break apart a marriage and a family.

So. I feel good about things. I am seeing things in a different light and it's helping to get that third point of view. P is a different man and continuing to grow with the help of the C and here.

Off to see her again in three weeks. Looking at cutting it down to once per month and then phasing it out slowly.

W:

Ahh, the wonderful Mrs P. Or the Nameless One as she is now known (see above) - NO for short.

What has she been up to? Well, nothing much to be honest as far as I can gather.

Spoke to NO's best friend a week or so again as she works at D's school. Poppped into to drop D off after a hospital appointment and casually asked if D had booked a lunch with the full intention of walking away. NO's friend has changed her mobile number again and I got the impression she was ignoring me. No hard feelings, I understand she is in a difficult 'rock and hard place' so didn't want to make things worse.

As I was walking away after getting a confirmation that D had booked a lunch, NO's friend asked me how I was - so I stopped and had a chit chat. NO's friend was saying she failed her driving test due to medical reasons and will need to move closer to her work. So i told her I too was looking at moving to the nearest big city a 100 miles away and she asked why. So I told her the story about NO wanting half the house, forcing me to move, splitting me and D up, yada yada yada.

NO's friend knew nothing about this, or so she claimed (although she did look shocked) and when she asked why NO was doing this I said she had changed and it was probably the L that was encouraging her so he could make more money from the court work - NO's friend said, with some vigour that NO had changed and she hadn't really spoken to her for a while. So it look like NO is dropping her best friend now too ...

D's mum's ex-partner (hey this is getting complicated :)) got a FB request from NO on Monday just passed That made me annoyed as NO is trying to spy on me - NO and D's mum's ex-partner don't really get on - she did offer him a lift home a few weeks ago after years of ignoring him ... I've changed all my FB stuff to private except from friends only and I've blocked NO and her cronies (sorry friends). Surprisingly this two days after me and Lady P were in NO's store. Coincidence? Who cares.

Other than that, nothing from NO. But it still bugs me that she's trying to spy on me. Maybe she's not but if it looks like an elephant, smells like an elephant then it's generally an elephant. Even if it's wearing sunglasses, it's still an elephant.

Lady P:

Lady P and I have been getting on great. Lots and lots of communication. Lots and lots of honesty. Lots and lots of listening (even from me :)). Things are going well. We're both on the same page. Have a huge amount in common. Similar view on life, kids, relationships, marriage, commitment, Starbucks (very important for me :)) and just about everything else. That's obviously no guarantee of anything, but when we were in a second hand bookshop and I picked up and bought a book on 'Battles' (I'm a big military history fan) she didn't flinch .. result

Valentines day went well. I got 3 cards and a heap of little presents. I of course didn't go overboard and bought a card and a soft toy monkey with 'You drive me bananas' on it ... eating all the choccies I got gave me trapped wind for over a week and required tablets and a two doctors appointments

Lady P was here last weekend for four days. We had a great time and of course we both agreed that it was time to 'nicely' rub it in NO's face. So we went into her store. Nothing overboard, we were just shopping together. No idea if NO saw us, but I think she did. Towards the end of the shop I actually didn't care. Some of her cronies saw us together so that made me feel good.

We went back to the shop on Monday and I actually spoke to a few of NO's friends who I didn't think were actually talking to me. That was nice.

Things are going good. Fast but good. There seems to be a good understanding there of each other's sitch. Lady P is married but has been separated for 7 years and has two kids with her H. They get on very well and they are looking at formalising a D next time he comes home (he works away overseas a lot). Nothing to do with me. Just something they agreed to do this year.

Me:

I'm doing great actually. I'm happy. Content. Gaining motivation. I was thinking just the other day how good it feels to be on my own now. I don't fear it. I've come full circle - 7 years ago before I met NO I was on my own, spending time with D. Now I'm on my own spending time with D. It just feels like I'm back to where I was - not square one, just back to where I was. I had this marriage thing in between but it didn't work out

So there is a small update.

NO is STILL snooping. I find it funny and annoying at the same time. Get on with your life woman and leave me alone. I am having a good relationship with a special girl. I am enjoying life again.

To quote my favourite movie ... Life Is Beautiful (if you haven't seen it, you must).