You two are really on the right track, and you're thinking about the right issues. I think you both will get a lot out of this weekend. We will be praying for you and for your wives to open their hearts to you.
It wasn't going as well as I thought it was while there. W and I did all the things to build communication skills and seemed like we were becoming closer. Then she shows me an email she sent to OM while pacing the halls on the Saturday night, unable to sleep. Saying how in every situation she could think of, she was more relaxed and calm picturing the OM in it than me.
I think she showed it to me so that it hit home how serious our problem was. For a while I was thinking that the presenting couples had worse problems than we had, so if they could do it, so could we. But none of the couples was IN LOVE with another person who was not their spouse. It was a kick in the gut.
That said, it helped our communication skills tremendously, and really helped us get over some of the awkwardness of sharing how we truly felt.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Maybe just tell her that you think you want to focus 100% on understanding her, so you're going to leave yours. She can deal with her side of things when she gets there.
My Retro letter said on it no laptops - I don't know if they'll "confiscate". I have a major work thing to do by Tues AM and I'm not even close. I'd LOVE to bring it. Not bringing it is a strong message to W that I want to discover her this weekend.
Coach: I'm not sure if your question was about TBL or not, but for me, I think it's a good question for me to put some thought to this weekend. I started trying to make a list, but I got the "but" word out in every sentence! The work of the devil or the work of a R in trouble, a problem nevertheless!!
"WHO You and your spouse: no kids, no pets, no laptops, etc. This is your weekend."
This was on the letter emailed to me. If you go to the online section that you log into with a password, you should find this info (I think)
I think it is fair to ASK, but it is up to her, I think. If she brings it, it is better than if she doesn't come.
I'm gonna guess your stones are just fine - maybe you've been kicked there a few too many times in the last year...if you had 100% sure evidence of an EA, my opinion is that you must say no to the laptop. Until then, do you think you could set that boundary without making her feel untrusted?
I've been exercising for a while - great stress relief and helps improve concentration (sorry...I'm a teacher...we're big on exercise!)
