Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

I need to wait for my brain to inform me...seriously I am a weirdo with emotions because my body freaks out first (as in I want to cry or scream, or throw up or run) and I don't know first why.

My hunch is that it is related to this scary event taking place and WH chose to tell me about it but didn't choose to ask me to be there. So what does he want?

Please no need to respond to my question- I am just processing. I do know that my instinct is to pull waaaaay back after putting myself out there yesterday.