Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[flowmom]

NM, I think your reaction was to the idea of the "C" word, not the actual procedure, which is actually a very minor one. I know that having a loved one "go under" is a bit scary - H has had several operations. But I hope that you can emotionally put the brakes on your reaction until there are facts about his health status. Even if there is a real reason for concern about his health, you are in a tough place because you will have to manage your feelings and still DB as long as OW is on the scene.

Working from now, you've put yourself out there and shown your beautiful heart...and that may have been a good thing. But now pull back and let him find in his heart where he needs you and no-one else. The last thing that you need right now is to take on a "mommy/nursemaid" role with him. Let OW fuss over him...you still need to be the b!itch (referring to the WMLB book).

He knows that you're nurturing and caring and that you love him...Maybe a 180 for you is putting yourself out there and not following up in any way and keeping the ball in his court? Not showing concern or asking for updates. Letting him volunteer the details.

CB's right that he's choosing OW to be there in his time of vulnerability. That takes away your option of putting your heart on your sleeve I'm afraid.

(((newmama)))