Time is different here, and you've got to make the switch. You have crossed over to the MLC/WAS time zone and it does not work like the time zone YOU are living in.
I don't get how you start a post with "she has no interest in being my friend or my wife," and then almost immediately segue into "she doesn't want a divorce."
My Dad used to say that someone who is bouncing around like you are is acting like "a fart in the wind." And I think my friend that you are in this bouncing mode for a couple reasons...
1. Your focus is still mostly on her. You are still waiting for signs from her that she is either coming around or fading away for good. Which means that...
2. Your focus is NOT on you (and your boys). We've tried to explain that you have to let go of this marriage relationship and concentrate your efforts on the only thing you can change directly - you and your relationship with your boys.
3. Unless you've got a line of descendancy from Nostradamus or something, you HAVE to stop predicting either the future or what your wife is thinking/doing. One of the really good pieces of advice I got here long ago was that we ALWAYS - repeat ALWAYS - imagine things to be WAY worse than they actually are. That includes what they're doing, how much they're enjoying it, how much more they desire it than us, etc, etc, etc.
Your wife is not teasing you.
You should be glad as hell that you've come far enough in this mess that she's actually able and willing to try to articulate what she's thinking with you. Most of our spouses spent their time spewing nasty stuff at us and rarely gave us an honest look into what was going on in their mind.
You wouldn't be so bothered by her good days/bad days if you were just concentrating on being the best man in her life and the greatest father around. If what you were worrying about was how to make your new home great, what freakishly amazing things you and the boys can do together soon, what opportunities you were GAINING (instead of losing) with the move you are making....I think you get my drift.
Bottom line from me...
Too much HER and not enough BRADLEY.
She's not going to float your boat right now, and probably not for some time to come.
But if you can get your crap together a little better, she's shown that she's willing to make your interactions positive, and she's shown that she cares what you think.
That is NOT insignificant stuff.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
